I kid you not, this bird actually dances energetically to the music (and sings along).  The site says no one taught him, he just started doing it when he heard the song.  It's a hoot to watch!

Dancing Bird

These are amazing: A4 Paper Cut.

Jim pointed me to this link, which is pretty interesting as well. It baffled me for a while, because first I saw it going counterclockwise which would indicate I was left-brained, but then as I shifted my eyes over and read the article, when I looked back, it was going clockwise, and I couldn't get it to switch back. This was bizarre because reading is a *left* brained activity and clockwise meant I was using the *right* side of my brain. I finally figured out that if I look at it out of the corner of my eye I can get it to switch either direction.

This song was playing on my way to work this morning. I'd heard it quite a few times before, but it struck me today because it fit so well.

Who I am Hates Who I've Been
(by Relient K)

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific
And you might think I'm losing my mind
But I will shy away from the specifics

Cause I don't want you to know where I am
Cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been
This is no place to try and live my life

Stop right there!
That's exactly where I lost it
See that line?
Well, I never should've crossed it
Stop right there!
Well, I never should've said that
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back

I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

I talked to absolutely no one
Couldn't keep to myself enough
And the things bottled inside
Had finally begun to create so much pressure
That I'd soon blow up
And I heard the reverberating footsteps
Syncing up to the beating of my heart
And I was positive that unless
I got myself together
I would watch me fall apart
And I can't let that happen again
Cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest day it's ever been
This is no place to try and live my life

Stop right there
That's exactly where I lost it
See that line?
I never should've crossed it
Stop right there
I never should've said that
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back

Stop right there!
That's exactly where I lost it
See that line?
Well, I never should've crossed it
Stop right there!
Well, I never should've said that
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back

I'm sorry for (Sorry for) the person I became
I'm sorry that (Sorry that) it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to (Ready to) be sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance You gave me
Who I am hates who I've been
Cause who I've been only ever made me

So sorry for (Sorry for) the person I became
So sorry that (Sorry that) it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to (Ready to) be sure I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

Ok, this was so funny, I had to post it.

Google in 1407.

Today has actually been pretty fun. I caught up on computer maintenance (ok, I'm weird, I think that is fun. I like cleaning out files and backing everything up). I was starting to get nervous given how long it has been since I have done a backup. Not that anything usually goes wrong, in fact I have very few computer problems, but all it takes is once.

While I was talking to Daniel on the phone today, I also finally got around to making my new desk calendar. Lifehacker mentioned a site a while back where you could print out the template and get instructions for putting together a dodecahedral calendar with a month on each side for any year in a given language (there are fifty options, including Latin). There was the regular dodecahedron that required gluing, and then there was a rhombic dodecahedron that had twelve pieces specially folded so that they all fit together without glue or tape or anything. Very cool.
I decided to try the rhombic dodecahedron, and it was a little tricky because it was made to fit on size A4 paper. But they give it to you in PDF which has a nifty fit-to-page option. I had to extend a few of the fold lines and do a little trimming before I had twelve ready-to-fold rectangles, but it came out great:







It's surprisingly sturdy.  If you want to see how the pieces fit together, there are pictures on the website I got it from.

I am way too tired to write much tonight. But this song has really resonated with me the last few days, so I decided to post it tonight. The music itself is amazing, so I recommend going over to their myspace page and listening to it there.

Let Go
(by Red)

Hey you, look what you do to me
You bend and you bruise me
Why you try to control me?
But you don't know me
How come you just want to hurt me?
How come you just want to push me?
I can't ignore you anymore
Cause everywhere I turn you
You burn me, you break me
You always want to take me down with you
What do you want from me?

I don't wanna be afraid, I don't wanna run away
I don't want to be here fading it's more that I can take
I'm never gonna be the same
I threw it all away
I don't want to be here fading
Just let go! (look what you do to me)
Let go! (look what you do to me)

Hey you, look what you do to me
You burnt and you scared me
With all that you tell me (but I don't listen!)
You love me, you hate me
You always want to take me down with you
What do you want from me?

I don't wanna be afraid I don't wanna run away
I don't want to be here fading it's more that I can take
I'm never gonna be the same
I threw it all away
I don't want to be here fading
Just let

You kept pushing me
You keep using me
You keep twisting me
You keep breaking me
You can't have me anymore [x3]
You can't have me, let go!

I don't wanna be afraid, I don't wanna run away
I don't want to be here fading it's more that I can take

I'm never gonna be the same
I threw it all away
I don't want to be here fading
Just let go! Let go! Just let go!
I don't wanna be afraid
Let go! (I don't wanna run away!)
Just let go! Let go! Let go!

Between feeling tired and just wanting the day to be over so I didn't have to handle it anymore, I decided to go to bed early last night--10 pm instead of midnight or after.  I haven't been to bed at 10 in... I don't know how long.  But when I woke up this morning--I feel great!!  I should do this more often, lol.

today was... ok.  Caught up on some sleep, did a lot of reading.

You know what's fun?  Skimming through the Bible looking for anything on a particular topic.  Like I went through a good part of the New Testament (Romans-Jude) today looking for anything that had to do with Christian living, interactions with people, handling other Christians who disagree with you, and how to act for the sake of non-Christians.  I found a *lot* of really interesting sections on it, and because I was going through and reading it all at once, it was easier to see patterns in instructions across books and such, yet I could also go through and see the context around each verse.


I read some more of other books besides the Bible, and practiced speed reading.  I have a lot of books I want to read, and reading faster would definitely be helpful.  I also found a library!  Lots actually, but one pretty close to where I'll hopefully be living soon.

Unfortunately I haven't been able to find any Scottish Country Dance groups near Las Vegas--there's mostly just Highland Dance out here, and that hurts my feet if I try to do too much.  Both kinds require staying on the balls of your feet at least, but Highland Dance is done a lot higher--basically as high as possible without going into full point.  Try jumping continually up and down like that in proper position and... well, the arches of my feet start killing me.  So yeah, not really my thing.  I did find an Irish dance group though, which I had thought about learning in high school as well as the Scottish dance I was taking.  So I might try that.  We'll see.

What else...  umm...   looking forward to visiting a new church tomorrow.  I hope this one goes well...

So yeah.  Good night

You scored as Belle, You are Belle! You are a beauty who is in love with a beast! But, u don't care because u got to know the beast well, and he became a very nice and handsome prince after u showed some love!!!!!!!!!! Belle 50% Ariel 50% Cinderella 40% Princess Fiona 0% Disney Princess Quiz created with QuizFarm.com

Ok, to be honest, I got Cinderella the first time too (maybe it's biased?), but I didn't change much to get this result, and she's my favorite Disney Princess.

Learn Greek (technically re-learn)
Draw (with pencil)
Pay my Westmont bill
Learn to write with both hands equally well
Do laundry
Read Star Wars books
Read the whole Bible all the way through again
Catch up on my scrapbook
Gain some weight and eat healthier
Get a more permanent place to live so I can stop living out of boxes
Play with my dolls again
Do some painting
Go to the bookstore and hang out for hours
Get finances in order
Write some stories I've been thinking of--actually write and finish even though they are long
Do some cross-stitch (and finish the project!)
Wash my car (and get the masking tape off of the window switches that I put there to remind me not to use the windows while the tinting was drying)
Find a library and read more
Learn to speed-read better
Memorize some parts of the Bible
Find a Scottish Dance troupe in Las Vegas that I can dance with (I miss that so much)
Finish typing in or copying in all my journals into my journal program
Learn, learn, learn!  Just because I'm out of college, that doesn't mean I want to stop
Get to know myself

Well, I don't know how long I will keep it this way, but I like it for now.  I've been feeling like the other one was a little on the overly-bright-and-happy side.  But do you know how few dark themes LJ has?!?  I had to find one that was close and modify it with a custom stylesheet.  I wanted it to go with this new user pic that I really like.  I wish I could make a picture for the header, but I don't have photoshop or anything, and I haven't found anything I like online.

It would be easier to find a good theme except I really like having the Tag Cloud in the sidebar, and the Expressions set of themes (and those based on them) are the only ones that have them...

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Well, I tried to go to church this morning.  I got directions to the wrong listing on Google, and ended up looking for a street that wasn't there.  I could have gone to the 11:30am service instead, but that would have made it really late (I was supposed to meet my parents after church).  They have a "college and career" service tonight at 7pm, but I haven't decided whether or not I want to go.  I want to go to the main service next week, but I did want to go to church today.  I think I'll try to go tonight and see what it is like, as long as my parents don't have other plans.

I did get my stuff moved in to the hotel room and pretty much organized--even my desk supplies and electronics box.  :-)  I feel creative too, because I made a replacement handle for the little set of cardboard drawers I have (the plastic handle broke, and superglue didn't work).  I'm feeling a little better.

Why do so many Christians think America is some kind of holy nation?  Just because we are (or were) allowed some religious freedom here does not make America a god.  We stand here on stolen land treating the flag as an icon of St. America, saying the pledge of allegiance like a prayer and like America has saved us.  While it is nice not to be hunted down and killed for worshiping God, as a Christian, my citizenship is not of this world.

Jesus answered, "My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, then My servants would be fighting so that I would not be handed over to the Jews; but as it is, My kingdom is not of this realm." (John 18:36, NASB).

That doesn't mean being an anarchist or anything:

Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men (1 Peter 2:9-15, NASB).

But the world is messed up, and it's going to get worse before the end.  Feeling all safe and warm and fuzzy about "our great nation" is  too close to complacency.  Why are we so quick to support a human institution?  Why are we consumed with being patriotic instead of standing against what is wrong?

Politicians
(by Switchfoot)

Everything is broken
Everything is broken
Everything is breaking down, breaking down

Everything is bleeding
Everything is bleeding
Everything is breaking down, breaking down

I pledge allegiance to a country without borders, without politicians
Watching for my sky to get torn apart
We are broken, we are bitter
We're the problem, we're the politicians
Watching for our sky to get torn apart
C'mon and break me

Entropy and Aching
Where have we been aiming?
Everything is fading out, fading out
We are the faded, splintered, and sedated
Everything is fading out, fading out

I pledge allegiance to a country without borders, without politicians
Watching for my sky to get torn apart
We are broken, we are bitter
We're the problem, we're the politicians
Watching for our sky to get torn apart
C'mon and break me
C'mon and break me

I pledge allegiance to a country without borders, without politicians,
politicians, politicians..

I am broken, I am bitter
I'm the problem, I'm the politician
Watching for my sky to get torn apart
C'mon and break me
(come on and break me)


Incidentally, my dog's birthday is today. He is 11 years old. :-)

Today I got to talk to the lady who was my piano teacher during high school (and several years before that).  I've really missed her, and getting to catch up a little was nice.  I don't think I've talked to her since before I started college, but she still remembers me (in fact she said that she still thinks about me often--and uses me as an example when talking to people about how homeschooling can work, lol.  She said it made me really smart).  She even remembered Paul's name (when she knew me, I was just really good friends with him, then we dated in college for around three years before breaking up).

There's nothing quite like having someone say that you are one of their favorite people... especially when you really like them and miss them.

Daniel's car now has air conditioning.

Cats like to roll around in the dirt even though they clean themselves with their tongues (what sense does this make?).

After driving my dad's car, driving the suburban is like driving an elephant.  It was even hard to press the gas pedal down it was so stiff.  However, it did get me to San Leandro, which was good.

Things are going a little better.

I'm waiting still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And after all that, I missed a day journaling.  arrrrrgh!

I was hoping to get home on Father's Day before my dad left for Nevada.  Daniel was amazing and drove almost straight to get me here.  We arrived in time to buy cards for our fathers and get over to my house a while before they got home from church.  It was nice hanging out with my parents before my dad had to leave for BART.

The irony is that after all the time I spent looking forward to being home and having a decent internet connection, when I got home I found out that our router broke for unknown reasons.  So no wireless, no cable.   I'm on 56k dial-up.  Again.  Well, 45.2k to be precise.  Dad said the new router should be coming sometime around Wednesday.  I hope it gets here soon.

I have an interview for the internship I'm hoping to get sometime in the next few days.  I need to get together my brain and a bunch of resume stuff, as well as brush up on what in the world to expect in a phone interview.  The job is a great opportunity and I would really like to get it, but I'm also dreading having to start working in like two weeks if I do get it.  I just want to crash and have some time to myself for a change now that my major honors project is done.

Good to be home though.

Today... hasn't gone so well.  Driving, hot weather, no air conditioner, miscellaneous other stuff... yeah, do the math.  I really want to be back in California right now, but it will take us a few days. 

I'm not sure what I want to do with my life at this point.  It is really tempting to settle down in the nice comfortable routine, get a nice job, nice house, nice stuff, and just live out the rest of my life, maybe helping some people when they come along, but just keeping to myself.  Another part of me rebels at the thought, and wants to be more radical about the way I live.  But that is uncomfortable.  I don't know.  Time to look back at what I have written under the goals tag...

Our last day in Silver Dollar City...  We walked around the park for somewhere around seven hours (my feet were sooo sore) and saw the rest of the shops we wanted to see and such.  Got to watch a demonstration by the guy who makes the really good knives (Ray Johnson) and he talked about how these days we live in a throw-away culture.  Buy something cheap, if it breaks, throw it away.  It used to be that things were made to last by craftsman who were proud enough of their product to put their name on it.  Johnson builds tools meant to be used and made to last and he emphasizes consistency between the things he makes.  If one can bend 90 degrees the others have to also, because if people see one knife do it, they will try it with theirs, so it had better hold up if Johnson's reputation is to hold up (and it does).  His knives have been used for a lot of things...  one guy diffused 900 some odd bombs in Iraq, another used it for years to pry up manhole covers--Johnson was right, when you make a knife, you aren't making a tool to cut things, you are making a tool to pry and dig and twist and hack and a lot of other things, and he makes his knives to stand up to that.  The work he does is very dangerous though, and can't necessarily keep up in this culture...  the craftsman are dying out.  It is amazing to me how much disposable stuff we use.  Ever counted the number of straws they bring you at a restaurant?  Sometimes they give you a new one with every refill.  Instead of using them, collect them, and then see how many you have by the end of the meal.  Then multiply that by the number of people who come to that restaurant, and by the number of restaurants in the country.  Disturbed yet?  I'm not a tree hugger, but it still seems pretty wasteful.

Anyway, I'm rambling because I'm very tired.  After Silver Dollar City we went over to Celebration City, played nine holes of miniature golf and went to a laser light show.  Very fun.  Celebration City has this amazing fountain in front of the gate.  I took some pictures, but I'll have to post them later.  I have internet, but only dial up.